It’s our responsibility to make things better

As human beings we are designed to be with other human beings it’s the way we were created. However, I have noticed in the last couple of years having gone through some mental health challenges, firstly with my gran in a big and scary way, then with myself, with women I worked with who had addictions, and finally Hayley. It is when our mental health is suffering, with overwhelm, or fear we start to push others away and isolate ourselves.

I’ve noticed this very thing with Hayley even she is 7, when her mental health is in a place that her brain is so busy, the emotions are too big, and she can’t get herself back down she will run away from me. Or if she goes into fight mode, she will shout at me, hit me, and even bite me. All things that could have me starting to hate my own daughter in my heart if I am not careful, or worse still hate myself because clearly, I am the bad mother. I am incredibly careful because I refuse to lose my relationship with my daughter because the chaos in her brain is taking control, and she hasn’t realised she has the full power over every thought she thinks, if she choses to! That’s where I come in as her coach!

It is hard for everyone at the moment not seeing and being with others but there are ways to communicate a quick message here, and there a phone or video call, lets face it we have time! There is nothing nicer than when someone is thinking about you, so they have messaged you!

I feel that Covid its self is not going to be the biggest problem in a minute. I feel it’ll be the mental health of our children, and of course the mental health of us, the adults who are expected to keep it all together. But we can’t because we were never taught the tools for resilience that we all need in our thought life right now, in this moment no matter what is going on around us.

This is the one thing we have control of! We can choose to let the time pass us by waiting for a vaccine, waiting for Covid to disappear, waiting to get a new job, waiting for the kids to be older waiting………. Or we can chose to take responsibility of our own thought life, to feel like we are having the most blessed time in our lives in the middle of a pandemic!

It is possible, I can hand on heart say 2020 was the most enlightening, empowering year I have ever had because I chose to make the changes in my thoughts to feel that way. I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, neither do you but you know right at this moment you are alive and have the power to do something about how your feeling, because I just told you can!

Above anything else I refused to make things worse for Hayley who was actually just excited about not having to go to school anymore, kicking and screaming. Once I dropped home schooling in the first lockdown, in place of teaching her all I know from my life, we had such a wonderful time together and we still are.

My mental and emotional health is on the top of my priority list now! Every day I do work to remove the negative thought patterns I have. I cry more than I have in my life and that’s ok! Crying is the power tool we have been fitted with to enable us to release all of the soul clutter we have without needing to say a word.

It is our responsibility to make things better for ourselves, so it can be better for our children and families, and if you read this whole blog then you are that person.